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Finding the Funny in B for Bleeding

Today's letter is B.
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Bleeding.

Definitely not to be taken lightly.

Postmenopausal bleeding, in particular, for us mature ladies.

Still, there's some humor to be found. Hold that thought.

Serious stuff first: The medical experts say that postmenopausal bleeding refers to any bleeding (light or heavy) occurring after one full year of no flow. There could be various reasons that a post-menopausal woman may suddenly start bleeding, from benign cervical polyps to yuck! cancer. So, dear ladies, you know who you are, do not hesitate, do not pass Go. Make an appointment to see your gynecologist tout de suite.

Okay, back to that held thought. Humor.

Let me take you back to 2006. Then was my first bout with postmenopausal bleeding. Lady-Doc (and my gynecologist is a she) found a rather huge, very ugly hot potato of a polyp. She twisted that baby off and sent it to the lab. Ladies, the things our gynecologists must see and do. They're well worth the money. Fortunately, Lab-Doc decreed the polyp as benign. However, Lady-Doc told me that I may get more over the years because essentially I have the physical conditions to be at risk for them.  Lab-Doc also diagnosed that I had something called atypical hyperplasia, which also contributed to my case of postmenopausal bleeding.

Hey! you say. Where's the funny in that?

When that all happened, I was 52. I had never used birth control pills until then.

I hear you. What's birth control pills got to do with postmenopausal bleeding?

In my own words—don't quote me, please—birth control pills control estrogen. That was one, perhaps the only way other than a hysterectomy, to stop that hyperplasia from possibly developing into yuck! cancer.

So, anyway, the funny stuff: The pharmacy was very busy the day that I went to pick up my birth control pills. Four pharmacy aides worked the counter, including a young man who had started a few weeks before. I was hoping I'd get one of the women who were around my age. Of course not.

The young man took my name and went searching for my prescription. I watched him do the rounds at each station where they might be. The second time he went into the drawer where my prescription should've been and pulled out the same prescription I'd seen him pull out before, he asked me, "Is the prescription under someone else's name?"

"No. Whose do you have there?"

He called out the brother's name. Hmm, maybe. I asked, "What's the prescription for?"

Bingo. It was my prescription.

"That's it," I said. "He's my older brother. Someone must've confused our accounts."

The young man looked at me unsurely.

"Those are birth control pills," I said, "Why would my brother be prescribed birth control pills? If his wife needs them, she'd get her own prescription."

The young man still hesitated. It could've been the grey hair sprouting from my head that confused him. Why would an old lady need birth control pills? That was for me to know. So, I repeated my logic. Second time must've made sense to him. He took the pills and went back to talk to a pharmacist to sort it all out.

And that, dear readers, is how this postmenopausal woman got her first batch of birth control pills.

Funny, no?

P.S. I only had to use the birth control pills for several months. The hyperplasia condition went away. More than a year later, Lady-Doc twisted off another benign polyp. Fast forward to last week.  Bleeding. I figured it was a burst polyp. Knock on wood, that is all it is. I ought to know soon.

P.P.S. If you would like to read some easy-to-understand medical explanation about postmenopausal bleeding, in general, check out this link.

Comments

  1. So you are on another alphabet jaunt. Are yours only once a week on Thursday? I have 2 more days left to go on mine. Whewwww.
    I hope your medical reports come back OK. I remember I had some bleeding after menopause but that was years and years ago..... can't really remember what the outcome was. You eat such a good diet too. So far, I've always cured everything with food so I must have done that then, too.
    Love to you.... Manzi

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  2. That really was funny:) Hope all turns out well for you. I had a hysterectomy in my early 30's so this was never a problem....

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  3. POST menopausal? Noooooooooo!!!!!!

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  4. What a funny story!

    I am post menopausal, and I hope I never experience this. (If you've got to lose all those good hormones, at least you should have the trade-off of never bleeding again, right?)

    ;)

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  5. I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun!

    I saw that on a bumper sticker once and laughed for three days..

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  6. Oh my! I would say ignorant (well, I wouldn't know better either, but if you work in a pharmacy, you don't "judge"... surely). Good luck with the tests.

    Maggy

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  7. I hope it's benign again! I had to take BC Pills for a few months several years after my hysterectomy. (I still have my ovaries and they were misbehaving!) Best wishes!

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  8. You were right, there was humor to be in that! :D

    I hope everything continues to go well.

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  9. This young man wasn't very well informed because birth control pills are even given to 13 or 14 years old against acné and it seems normal to me that women your age gets them too. BTW I just came from the gynocologist, coincidence, lol !

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  10. There is no power on earth that can make me EVER take birth control pills. They make me a danger to myself and others!!

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  11. Oh my, so glad it was benign and hopefully this next one will be ok too,and I wouldn't call 52 old!~:) Ames.

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  12. Thank you, one and all, for your positive vibes. I'm thinking positively that the results will come out well. Actually I've decreed to the winds that they shall. :-)

    Manzi, yep, it's a once-a-week ABC meme so I don't get completely lost in work.... My diet could be better, well, maybe consistent. My downfall is still coffee and a taste of something sweet.

    Vicki, I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.

    Alice, Yessssssssssssss!

    Sue, you said it!

    Rocky Mountain Woman, good one! hahahaha

    Maggy, hopefully he's improved with his customer service skills. He really was/is a good kid.

    Our Village is a Little Different, thank you.

    Amanda, glad to hear it. :-)

    Gattina, hope your session went well. I didn't know that about 13 and 14 year olds. I did notice that the eczema on my face improved while I was taking the BC pills.

    Judie, I hope I don't ever have to take them again, that's for sure.

    Ames, Now that I'm 5 years older, 52 year olds are youngsters. ;-)

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  13. I was completely menopausal at 45 -had my last two of three sons at 38and 40. I'm now 66 and, thus far, have had no post menopausal bleeding. Hope it doesn't happen!!!

    Women do need to be aware of their GYN health in their later years!

    My Alphabe Thursday is at:

    http://rnsane.blogspot.com/2011/04/alphabe-thursday-b-is-for-beautiful.html

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  14. hi, thanks for taking time visiting my blog i appreciate it :) i laughed on the 'humor' part of your post. but i certainly would read the entire post.this is very informative although i'm far from menopausal, yet i have to know this for future reference :) thanks for sharing and have a great day!

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  15. You'd think that after bleeding once a month for DECADES that when we get past the possibility of being breeding material that we would never have to see a spot of blood in our undies ever again!

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  16. cherrylej, thanks. That's what I was hoping for--to bring a laugh and serious info at the same time.

    widdershins, you said it!

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  17. This sounds scary and funny all at the same time. I'm glad you found some relief and got a few laughs out of this frightening situation.

    Menopause is definitely not for sissies.

    Grrrr...

    Thanks for linking up. I really enjoyed reading this post although I feel bad you went through such ickiness.

    A+

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  18. I agree with Jenny. Scary but funny. Visiting from Alphabe Thursday x

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  19. That had to be a little nerve racking. But you saw the humor in it!

    I got pregnant on the pill. That was the beginning of my menopause, but no one thought about it because I was just 35. After 4 misses, it finally occurred to the drs that maybe I'm premenopausal.

    That was 15 years ago. So approaching 50, there's a slew of ailments to worry about. I'm waiting to see which one rears it's ugly face.

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  20. LOL. Just when I thought I was safe.

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Thanks for the good cheer. :-)

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