|Today's letter is S.|
For more S posts,
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Congratulations are in order. Maybe. I am a new multi-millionaire.
Rather, I would be a multi-millionaire if I respond to these e-mails.
- Morgan David & Associates from Bristol England stated I am the beneficiary of over 8 million pounds. The firm broke the delicate news about an unknown patron with "Dear Sir/Madam."
- Chan from China, a former investment banker, wrote that his former employers have asked him to contact me and let me know that if I do not accept $15.7 million dollars from an American account, they will keep the money forever. All I need to do is give them my phone number and date of birth.
- Mr. Oyi John, of the Federal High Court of Nigeria, wrote that I must prove I am not dead. Otherwise, someone named Mr. Jones McBolt will transfer $2.5 million from my account into his. There is a hitch. How shall I prove that I am the one and only living Charbel Aad?
- Mrs. Anthonia Emma has been instructed to pay me $1.5 million. It will be paid in amounts of $5,000, three times a day until the end of the year. And guess what? This same message was sent to me by the Western Union Office.
- A British citizen named Mr. George Clesse, working as a financial manager for the Chevron British Oil Company, wants to strike a secret deal with me. Shh! He says he is willing to give me half of $13.1 million from a client in Mexico, with whom he has lost touch and who he thinks was murdered by drug lords. All I have to do is contact a certain London bank and so forth and so on.
- Olarn Chaipravat sent me a top secret message. So secret and so long, I have no idea how much I will be receiving. I just must make sure I don't tell anyone. He did say "Good luck."
- London barrister Ken Cole sent me an email because my surname is similar to his deceased client and no closest of kin has stepped up to claim $32 million. I must send him my contact information tout de suite so he and I can get our money ASAP.
- Yahoo/msn sent me a brief congratulatory note saying that I have won a computer balloting sweepstakes. Just email it back and I will soon receive an undisclosed sum. Whoopee!
- Some unknown person wrote that I have won 815,950 euros in a Spanish sweepstake and all information could be found on the attached Word file. I just can't decide if I want to chance getting my computer possibly infected. Do I really want to be stuck with euros?
- Someone named MARIA CRISTINA GAMBOA just wrote to get in touch with her pronto. A very legitimate transaction awaits me.
- Madam Janina Tom is dying and she wants her $$ to go to someone who would be willing to meet her conditions. If I accept, I would give 50% to charity and use the other 50 percent to invest as I see fit and to "support and establish" her house girl when she comes to meet me. Madam, huh?
- Mr. James Schoenberg, secretary (U.N.) wrote that he has $2.3 million to give me for overdue payments. FedEx will deliver my $$ once I give him the essential contact information.
- The Yahoo International Lottery in Thailand sent me a notice that I am one of 25 people who have won $1 million. If it's from Yahoo, it must be legitimate.
Unfortunately, and not so regrettably, I chose to respond to these e-mails by forwarding them to firstname.lastname@example.org.
|Just think. |
I could've bought myself
a bunch of these boots—one for
each day of the year.