We are on a new adventure—the Mama, Molly the Cat, the Husband, and I.
The Mama's body is failing. Thank goodness, her spirit is not.
She's stubborn. That's a positive.
Yesterday afternoon, she faced reality. She fell! "You need to use the walker," I exclaimed.
"No! The dead people used it," she said, referring to the walker gathering dust in the garage. She used it once upon a time when she was healing from a broken hip. Somewhere along the line she let a friend borrowed it, which his wife returned after he died.
"We will get you another one," I said. It was 5 o'clock in the afternoon. Fortunately, for us, we found a bare-basic walker, without the sparkles and whistles, at the pharmacy.
Thankfully for us, the Mama allowed herself to use the walker. I loved that at one point, as she slowly made her way down the hallway, she stamped her feet and scolded her legs for not working with her.
Last night, Molly the Cat gave the Mama an extra dosage of purrrrrrrrr while she laid on the couch in the living room. Molly first kneaded the Mama's blanket, then snuggled beside the Mama's legs. Sweet, Molly the Cat.
It seems that Molly's and the Mama's appetite are in sync. Mama eats a little bit, Molly eats a little bit. The Mama eats a good bit of her food, Molly eats her food. When Molly doesn't eat her meal, the Mama urges her to "Eat, eat, eat." I would love it if Molly could say, "You first, Madame."
As I'm writing, I can hear the Mama washing her breakfast dishes. (It was a good day for breakfast for the Mama and Molly.) My first thought when I heard the clang of dishes was to stop her and wash them for her. No. It's routine. It's normalcy. It's independence. For her. And for us.
Today, when the Mama is watching her game shows, the Husband and I will rearrange the furniture in her room so that she can move about fairly easy with her walker. She'll strike back at that change of reality. That's good.
I have begun to cry. I do my best not to do it in front of her. So far, so good.
We are in the same place in life. Our mothers are too. I feel so for you - and I know those private tears.
ReplyDeleteLucky Mama to have you two and Molly the Cat.
I appreciate your gentle words, Eunice. They help this crybaby me. :-)
DeleteI am so sorry that you are going through this. I understand this all too well and it is hard to deal with. No matter their age, they are our mothers and we want them to be with us, as they were, all the time. To see their bodies fail is so difficult and others may not understand until they are I. That same situation. You are also the main Caregiver and this put a lot on you and your husband. I am glad she has a walker as well as Molly and the both of you. My mom is 88 and lives in a long term care facility because she has dementia. She is called "strong-minded" by the nurses and PSW'S and that is an understatement. She refuses to take a shower/bath and her toenails are just beyond horrible. The laws here are all for the patients which means if the patient puts up a fight, the employees can't get forceful in any words at all which is what my mom needs. My hubby had to be the bad guy last weekend to get her into the shower(to the good cop PSW). The PSW was able to direct my mom to the showers making sure that my evil hubby would not be near her. Her feet will be. Looked at this Tuesday by a new foot nurse. My mom refuses to let me near her feet. Yesterday she did not believe she has any memory issues and said she took care of her dad(which she did) and basically said I was not there for her. It is hard and I must commend you and your husband for doing whatyouaredoing...you have my deepest respect.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the verbal hugs, Birgit. And sharing me your stories with your mom. They help a lot.
DeleteSending you love blessings and support, friend
ReplyDeleteGot them, Cloudia. Thank you.
DeleteSending you and Mama lots of hugs. I've been through all of this with both parents. She has you to love her, and that's more important than anything else.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jeanne. The Mama is a stoical person and rarely says what's deep in her. I hope she realizes we're all in this adventure together. Thinking positively I am.
DeleteOh, Susieee, that brought tears to my eyes it did.
ReplyDeleteI guess we've all sensed it in some of your posts of late.
May the Mama continue to be her usual self until she just ... stops.
Big hugs, to you and the Husband and Molly-by-Golly, and the Mama, if she'd like one. :)
Yes, the Mama appreciates the hug, as do we all, Widders.
DeleteSometimes, we get enthused all over again - and begin to heal - and continue on - better than before . . . Life is like that . . .
ReplyDeletesending Love & buckets of Hope . . .
The Mama has healed so many times in her life. It would be nice if she had one more healing, as long as she doesn't have to go through all the physical and emotional pain.
DeleteI love your last post on March 24, 2016. Our Mama's are very strong women and I feel the same. My Mom also has come back and healed when I thought she wouldn't. I too hope each time she has a setback that she gets one more chance to heal and still be with us. You have been a wonderful daughter and she has done well because of her strength and the love surrounding her.
ReplyDeleteJenny, your words are nourishment. Thank you, Sweet Lady.
Delete