"What?!" The Husband jumped.
I got him twice already.
"Stop scaring me," he whined in a fake scaredy-cat kid's voice, after he stopped laughing. "Stop scaring me."
Maybe I will. Maybe I won't.
I'm feeling loosely-goosely right now. Almost floating on air.
It's the ibuprofen speaking. I took one of them red pills a few minutes before I surprised the Husband the first time. "Boo!" I'd taken 3 of them before going to bed last night. "Boo!"
I'm getting ready for a big OW! later on today. An endometrial biopsy. The doctor said it would hurt a little Hah! I know better. I've had two in the past several years. The second one was the worse and I had self-medicated myself before then. Let's just say two ibuprofen pills doesn't do it for me. The Husband said he could hear me from the waiting room.
Until yesterday, I thought I was a wimp, a weenie, a baby for not having been able to take the pain. Then, I found posts written by bloggers, as well as a couple of forums in which women expressed bloody murder about how horribly painful the endometrial biopsy was for them. There is comfort in numbers sometimes.
One blogger was very graphic--and quite funny--about her experience. Her cervix was out of reach, so her gynecologist told her to cough so it would move into a position that he could grasp it with his cold metal graspers. He had to do two attempts with the doo-hickey that scrapes the lining of the uterus. His first try did not yield enough tissue, which exasperated the blogger, as you can imagine. Before he went in again, the blogger said something about the need for anesthesia. The doctor then mumbled something about he could've applied local anesthesia. Duh!
I don't know if I'd want the local anesthesia because a big fat needle is used. A woman commented in one of the health forums that she elected to have local anesthesia. The big fat needle hurt as much as the procedure, and then, she wrote, it didn't help numb the pain at all. The idea of a needle going into the soft tissue down there makes me shudder. I wonder if that's how a guy feels when he gets hit in the balls.
Just so you know, not every woman in the forums I've read had painful biopsy experiences. Some felt mild pain or none at all. I am very happy for them. No, I'm not being sarcastic.
I've been putting off the biopsy for a month, okay, maybe two, in the hope that the bleeding will go away on its own. Doctors recommend that when you have postmenopausal bleeding to go check it out. The literature says that in most cases, it's essentially hormonal imbalance. Then there's the But. But, postmenopausal bleeding may be a symptom of a precancerous condition or cancer itself. In most cases, the literature says, if the endometrial cancer is caught early, it can be easily treated.
So, why did I wait? I had my reasons but I'm not going there.
Seriously: If you're beyond menopause and you begin bleeding, please go get it checked.
Gynecologists have several methods for checking the cause of postmenopausal bleeding. The endometrial biopsy is one of them. I elect to do it because it can be done in the doctor's office and it's something I can afford as a self-pay patient.
Should your doctor suggest an endometrial biopsy, don't be put off because you read this post or heard other women complain about the pain. I do suggest that you ask your doctor what and how much over-the-counter painkillers you ought to take before you go to your appointment.
The endometrial procedure only takes a few minutes. What's a few minutes of discomfort when you consider the bigger picture, right? Me. I will pop a few ibuprofen pills 45 minutes or so before my appointment. The husband has said he will come with me. Him being with me always helps. Maybe, I'll stop scaring him. For today, that is.