The morning the First Husband died, I had thought about doughnuts. Frank was 21 days into hospice care, which we elected to do at home. On that 21st day, I woke up feeling strangely relaxed. Unlike the other 20 days, I wanted to sleep a bit longer. Thump. Frank lightly tapped me on my head. Two times. I felt heartened. He had not been able to move any part of himself for days.  I opened my eyes. He looked at me intensely and clearly. I smiled. He hadn't been this alert since the first few days of Hospice. "Okay, Frank, since you insist, I'm getting up," I said. I opened the blinds to the living room where we had been sleeping on the sofa bed for the last four months. "It's a beautiful day, Frank." Our morning ritual began by turning Frank onto his side, then holding a glass of water mixed with a bit of morphine for him to sip from a straw. On day one of hospice, Frank decided to stop eating to bring death on quicker. He, as well as the hospice nurses

I want to learn to play the cello. So I say right now. In the past year, I have changed from wanting to play the bass guitar to the bass, accordion, trombone, drums, and violin. And, now it is the cello. The Husband says settle on one already. Easy for him to say. He can play the trombone. He can read music. He can sing on key. Me? I can read the C-scale, specifically the first five notes C-D-E-F-G. The first time I sang along with the Husband during our courting days, more than 18 years ago, he told me I was off-key. After another song or two, he said, "You're tone deaf." Huh? What? That was news to me and I'd been singing 40 years by then. But, it did suddenly make sense why the elementary school chorus teacher didn't let me join the group and I couldn't for the life of me tune my guitar when I was an angsty teenager. Fortunately for the Husband, I haven''t let that imperfection keep me from singing when I feel like it. He has even said

Names have been changed because I just don't remember them anymore. "Need any help, Bea," a grey-haired woman said heartily, from the doorway of the Friends of the Library Bookstore. "Laurie, good to see you, darling," said the elderly Bea, turning from the bookshelves. "You're not scheduled for today." "I know," Laurie said, walking into the shop. "I had to come down town to pay bills and return books. Since I had to put on a bra, I thought I'd stop by and do a couple of hours if you could use me." Both women laughed. I laughed, too, from the side of the room. Yup. I could hardly wait to get home and take my bra off. I'm participating in the Blogging from A to Z Challenge this month. To check out other participants, click here . See you tomorrow. 

"Sometimes it's a good idea to teach A, B, D, C rather than the usual A, B, C, D." That's what I said at a job interview for a youth counselor position in the late 1970s. I cannot recall what the interviewers had asked me, nor can I remember why I chose to give a "thinking out of the box" response.  This was my second interview for the position so perhaps I tried to sabotage myself. I was very good about things like that back then. I did not get the job. No surprise there. But, I figured it was more so because I didn't have the desired skill of being bilingual in Spanish. A month later, the group offered me a temporary position as one of the eligibility officers for its summer youth employment program. That job turned out to be more compatible with my personality. A few days on the job, I met the woman who was hired for the youth counselor position. Unlike me, she had a working relationship with the interviewers, having previously worked with th

Just call me #2028. For now. That may change throughout the month during the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge . This is my second year. Unlike last year, I have no expectations. I may finish, I may not. And if I don't? Then I will have recognized that my world has become too stressful and doing the daily post challenge is not a priority. Hmmm, I believe I have turned the corner into Serenity Now!