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Four Weeks Ago


"Mama's gone."

Four Fridays ago, in the early evening, I walked into the kitchen to let the Husband and Molly the Cat know that Mama's spirit had slipped into the ever after.

I had started making dinner. As I put the frying pan on the stove, I had a feeling and I didn't want to know. The Husband and I had been sitting at the kitchen table, talking about the house. How we needed to replace faucets in the kitchen and in the Mama's bathroom. That one day we would need to replace the linoleum and maybe it would be better to take out the carpet and put in a wooden floor. House stuff that neither of us had ever done or been interested in doing. But, at that moment, it all seemed natural for us to do.

With the frying pan on low, I went to check on the Mama. She was warm, but she no longer breathed. She looked quite content. I like to think that the Mama heard us talking in the kitchen and she felt assured that her house would be in good hands and that the Husband and I would be fine. She could now let go of her physical shell.

Four weeks later, the chirping birds, the neighbor's noisy grandchild, another neighbor's barking dog,  lawn mowers, the wind, the passing cars, and nearly everything sound different to my ears. Is it because the Mama's breaths are no long part of what I hear?

Okay.

Okay.

I was going to write that it's probably time for me to start writing about other stuff. Perhaps. I have not completely thrown the blanket over my head, although there are moments that I want to just close my eyes and not think about things that need to get done. There is so much. Today, I told myself everything doesn't have to be done right away. "It'll work out, right?" I asked the Husband. "It'll work out," the Husband said.

Yes, they do.

Four weeks later, the Mama's name is etched on the gravestone that she shares with the Daddy, and the picture of the two of them is already up. I did not expect all that to happen until later in May. For that matter, four weeks ago, I had no idea if the Mama's name would fit on the marker in letters almost the same size, if not the same, as the Daddy's; who would engrave her name; and if I could afford a photo of them to be put up. So, yes, things work out.

I love the photo of the Mama and the Daddy. That was how they looked in 1976 at the Daddy's 71st birthday party. As you approach their grave site, you can see the Mama's smile from far away. I love that, too.



Comments

  1. Yes, Her Smile Beams . . . Sending You Love.
    -g-

    ReplyDelete
  2. Time to write other stuff? No I don't think so. There will always be posts about your Mama because you were a part of her and she is always going to be a part of you. Early days, yet. Early days.
    The headstone is beautiful and the picture would draw me across a distance just to see who the lovely smile belongs to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Early days. That's good to know, Pondside. Hugs to you.

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  3. Of course it is very sad for you but on the other hand your mama went away forever without suffering. The best death you can wish for somebody. The picture is very nice and fits perfectly on the grave.

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  4. She knew...when to go. Today, April 30th is the day my dad died which was 28 years ago. So long ago but yet...not. She is with you and will visit you when you need it. You might see a flower or the fruit from the tree she planted and she is letting you know she is near. You have been a wonderful daughter for being there for her all these years...your husband also. Many children do not do this and this means, to me, you are blessed. She is beauty all around.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, Birgit, your words have me tearing up. Good crying. Always good crying.

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  5. Best beaming smile ever ... finding other things to write about will come in its own time. :)

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    Replies
    1. "Best beaming smile ever" makes a great title. :-)

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  6. It's a wonderful tombstone, Mama's info fit perfectly. I am very sorry for you, Susie, I did not know. The last I read was fairly March, she was failing some but it was nice that some of the relatives could come. You wrote a beautiful obituary and I know, a very good pallbearer. I've not had that duty/honor. Now I am too old but I was an honorary pallbearer once.
    When my mom died it was sad for me, still is once in a while. We have always had a mom and now there isn't any, we don't have a mom.
    I could tell that you were very proud of her accomplishments. We buy the long tomatoes all the time, I'll think of her every time I buy one now. She was a brave woman to marry a Yank also. That meant moving such a long way from her home, her mom too.
    I have skipped quite of my blog posts, things piled up on me here. In June I might get back to normal.
    Cheers, again my condolences, Jim
    ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Jim. The Mama's quick demise surprised us all. The cousins had a hard time wrapping their minds around hearing she was dying a few weeks after seeing her. I'm glad that the Mama and the cousins had that last visit. I love what you said about the Mama marrying a Yank. The Daddy would've loved it, too. :-)

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  7. The photo on the tombstone is beautiful. Your Mama may now be gone from your life but she will never be gone from your heart, and when you look round the garden at everything she planted and cared for you'll know she's still near.

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    Replies
    1. This morning, the Husband made a certain sound when he was writing that for a moment I thought the Mama was pushing the rock against the screen door outside.

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  8. Susie, I'm so sorry to have missed this post, The headstone is lovely and the Mama's smile is enchanting, re-unuited with the Daddy again,,
    God bless them both.
    Hugs Di xx

    ReplyDelete

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Thanks for the good cheer. :-)

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