Friday, April 14, 2017

Moodiness.


I'm sulking.

As in my teenage-self sulk, which was playing my guitar all Sunday afternoon, singing Flowers on the Wall, Elusive Butterfly, Bridge Over Troubled Water, and other angst songs, in the living room.

I did do that. One time, during a pause, the Mama called out from the kitchen, "Are you done now?"

hahahahaha.

The poor Mama. She was a saint to endure two or more hours of my off-key singing and probably out-of-tune guitar.

Okay. Focus. Back to the subject I began.

I'm sulking.

I don't want to do this not-a-hysterical operation even though I know it's a preventative measure that may let me live the full life that I'm meant to have.

Don't worry. It will happen. In three weeks, I'll no longer have a reproductive system. I'm way beyond baby-producing time so my fist-size of a womb with attaching tubes and ovaries will be no more.

I've never given birth. I wanted five kids. Maybe I have them in parallel universes. One can dream. 

I wonder if I'll be a bit depressed after the surgery. When I had all four wisdom teeth pulled, I was blue for a couple of days over my missing four needless teeth. I felt like something was taken from me.

A long time ago, the thumb of my Auntie Dee (not her real name) got infected. She didn't want to go to the doctor because she was afraid he might amputate it and then she would die without all her body parts. The pain eventually got unbearable so Auntie Dee saw the doctor. She didn't lose her thumb.

I admit that thought about wanting to die with all my parts crossed my mind. If there is such a thing as reincarnation would I come back as a male in my next life because I don't have my xx parts?

Jibber jabbering like this has talked me out of a sulky mood. There you go. I'm done now.



12 comments:

  1. The worst is the waiting time before it happens ! One has too much time to think ! Afterwards you will be happy that it's done !
    Courage !!

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  2. Oh! I hope you have a good operation and are treated well in the hospital and have a good recovery. I'm not a fan of surgery, but understand they can be necessary.

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    1. Thanks, Courtney. This is the year of patching me up so I can go another 30 years. My knees are knocking at the surgery door, too.

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  3. I had it done years ago, no kids either, and have never regretted it.
    Chin up!

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    1. "Chin up!" I like that saying. Thanks, Jackie, for sharing with me.

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  4. I'm pretty sure that when we come back we're issued a complete set of new parts. :)

    You have every right to get 'sulky', and maybe a bit 'grieve-y' too.

    Glad writing helped. :)

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    1. I hope we get new parts. Maybe I'll be better with them. :-)

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  5. Sending Love!
    You are the boss of you . . .
    Thank you for being such a marvelous friend.
    -g-

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    1. I'm the best boss I know, that's for sure. Thanks, G. :-)

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  6. I'm catching up! You will do fine but don't feel bad if you feel a bit in the dumps. A friend of mine never wanted children but started having major issues and it was found that she had 2 huge benign tumors that caused her much pain....one was larger than a grapefruit. She had a hysterectomy and got Bubba and Bubba Jnr out and was much better. She was surprised that she felt down because she could no longer have children but I told her that is normal because it is our bodies. So don't feel bothered if you do feel down...it's normal

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  7. Thanks, Birgit! There are times I simply don't want to be brave. :-)

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Thanks for the good cheer. :-)