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What Daddy Told Me

My dad didn't advise me much when I was growing up. When he did, they were humdingers, and usually they were one-liners.  For instance, on the day of my senior prom, he told me rather placidly, and unexpectedly, "Don't go f***ing around." The idea hadn't even entered my mind.  And, when I was attending community college, Daddy pronounced suddenly in his usual unruffled way to me, "Don't be a hippie." Nothing more.

Probably the most profound guidance Daddy gave me was when, as a teenager, I decided to check out different churches. Not because I was looking for a church to join but because I was curious about how different churches worshiped. I didn't know that Daddy had noticed what I was doing. Even if he had, I didn't think he would've cared since we were not avid churchgoers. But before I went on my fourth Sunday outing, Daddy said, calmly, as always, "I don't want you going to any other church as long as I'm alive."

Huh? Daddy only went to church (Catholic Church) on Christmas and Easter, with an unspoken sigh and a quiet damn each time he had to rise from his seat or bend down on the kneeler. Still, I honored his wishes, being the good daughter that I was. Years later, I figured Daddy was hedging his bets in case the priests were right about heaven and hell. He wanted to make sure that all his ducks were in a row, and one of those ducks was seeing that his daughter didn't stray into other religions. At least until he was dead.

How I miss my dad!

Comments

  1. ur stories remind me of my dad suzy. my cigarette holder in my car wuz full of pakololo butts when i stopped by 4 a visit from college. he cleaned my car, ddnt say a word, but lined up the evidence in a very neat long row on my nightstand. i always cleaned my car after that when comin for a visit....

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  2. LOL Chynna! No doubt he was very happy you did that.

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  3. Hi Susie,
    I love your story about your dad...so similar to my dad's advice, even to this day! So glad you left your comment on my blog, I'd lost my blogathon mojo for the few days but I am thankful for your encouragement. Happy Saturday!
    Heather

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  4. What happened after? Did you join and attend a different church? Curious minds...

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  5. Hi, Suz, Thanks for the sweet comment. I just had to check out your blogs. Wow! Some Dad's feel super responsible for their girls. My dad had four girls and even though he wanted us educated he really had an ulterior motive...see us married off to someone who would 'take care' of us. When I went from Presbyterian to Pentecostal he about flipped! I was coming home actually hugging him and saying wierd un- Presbyterian things like, "Hallelujah!" And meaning it!
    I was reading Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch who was Catholic and started taking notes from conversations with an inner voice saying he/she was God.(He used both genders to break us out of our stodgy limitations.) Neale said his Nuns were so strict about having to go to the 'right' church they felt you had to keep away from the 'wrong' ones and confess it as 'sin' if you even went to someone's wedding!
    A note about your Dad. It seems after passing they attempt to comfort you if you seem to be grieving too much. Also a comforter is assigned to be called upon who will whisper inspiring thoughts in your ear. Wouldn't it be great if one just used my note to whisper something to you?

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  6. Thanks, fellow Blogathoners for stopping by. Very much appreciated.

    Heather: Ah, yeah, that mojo. I know what you mean.

    Bike Lady: I've visited different churches since then. But in the end I belong to no organized church. I believe. I have faith.

    Shelley: A couple of friends suggested that I check out Walsch, quite a while back. have yet to. I've always thought that God is in the center of each person's soul. Listening to it and letting it shine, now that's another matter. After reading some of Bike Lady's blog last night, I realized that I hadn't been paying attention for a very long while.

    I agree with you about our loved ones helping us get over their death. My mom and I liked to think that he was the one who made sure she won $300 out of a slot machine soon after he died. :-) For me, the first white butterfly I see each day is my dad saying hello.

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  7. your dad sounds so old school. i dig it. my mom once pestered my dad to talk to me about sex, and my dad turned to me and said, you know about sex right? i nodded. my friends told me at school. so my dad turned back to my mom and said, he knows.

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Thanks for the good cheer. :-)

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